Thursday was my 39th birthday. I was looking forward to it for months and then the night before, I had a mini panic-attack. My first birthday spent single in nearly 12 years. (that I can remember... or that was significant enough?)
My biggest fear (in regards to my personal life) is that I won't ever meet someone who is honest and true and 'right' for me. It's also one of my biggest fears that I WILL meet someone who is honest and true and 'right' for me. I don't trust my own judgement. I don't even know who I am anymore. For so long I was SSgt Miller's wife. (3 years may not seem long, but most of my interactions for the first 18 months were with his co-workers.. so they called me that). I'm slowly re-learning who Stephanie is and who she wants to be.
I cried myself to sleep Wednesday night. I had so many hopes for this past year. 2017 was supposed to be OUR year. The court case would be finalized, we'd start the adoption process... We would finally be completely debt free.
And now I'm starting over, again.
39 has GOT to be better, right??
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