I moved into my apartment at the beginning of the month. I don't know if it's starting to feel like home yet, or it's just the new normal for me. Most of the place is unpacked; that was the easy part.. it's finding homes for everything. the kitchen is really small. I have 3 lower cabinets and 3 drawers.. I hate under cabinets.. I'm working at putting things in the china cabinet.. maybe I'll just leave one of the lower cabinets for trash cans and recycling. I'm ready for the 'settling in' phase to be done and do the fun decorating and LIVING in this place. Maybe even have someone or people over for dinner!
My biggest pet peeve is the camel crickets. They seem to literally come out of the walls! I keep killing them and vacuuming them up. I need to let my landlord know they're everywhere... And ask about an exterminator or some sort of bug killer. They're destructive.
Nothing is happening with the divorce at this point. He mis-filed in PA... again. My lawyer said she could fix it; but it'll cost me a couple hundred dollars... I think in the end.. I'm going to have to pay to clean up his mess (again).. but at least I know it will be done properly. And if he wants it done, he'll give me what I ask for in the property settlement. And it'll be done. finally. I don't WANT another divorce; but sitting here separated isn't helping me heal. And Brad is not of any kind of mind-set to get back together (not that I would just jump back into everything... but we are married... and since that's not happening, I don't think I really need to entertain the thoughts or plan of what would have to happen if he were to miraculously come to his senses....)
I am thankful for my friends. Endlessly, still. I had no less than 6 invitations for Thanksgiving dinner at people's homes. I decided to stay home, in my pjs, watching movies, and made myself gyoza for dinner. It was just what I needed. I did zero unpacking or housework and felt zero guilt for it. I had a 4 day weekend... My only vacation this year.
I chose to stay home for that reason... and because on Saturday I take an early flight and go see my step-daughter for 24 hours. I didn't want to travel two weekends in a row. To say I'm excited to see s. is a huge understatement. I haven't seen her since June. And it was only for a week, a very short, emotionally charged week. And while this visit will be really short; I'm hoping it'll keep the door open to her and I seeing each other again, even if not as often as we would have, had her father not done this.
She's supposed to go see him for her 2 week Christmas Break. I fought so hard for us to get that time with her. And he's decided to not get her. She's actually happy about it because she doesn't want to meet his girlfriend. He actually told her "I have a girlfriend, her name is _______ and I live with her now in PA." s has actually told me "I don't ever want to meet her or hear her voice or speak to her. I don't want her to ever be my step-mom. Just you." I told her that if she does ever meet her, that she needs to respect this woman, and that she is in control of her own reactions and behavior. I wasn't sure what else to tell her... She also told me "My dad's a jerk." I had nothing to say to that... I don't want her to talk bad about her father, as much of a jerk as he is being... he is still her father. But he's not being a very good one.
I should go finish unpacking my kitchen. I told myself it had to be done before bed on Sunday night....
